The good, the bad, and the ugly

I Heart Mommyhood...well, most of the time anyway...

There, I said it.

I do love mommyhood. I do love being a mother. But I'm not gonna lie - it's by far the hardest thing I've ever done! After almost two years I'm finally okay to admit that sometimes it downright sucks. If I'm feeling this way, obviously others are too. Come on, I know you're out there. Trust me, surrendering yourself to the honest truth about how you feel will lift a great weight off your shoulders.

I now know that it doesn't make me a bad mom to say that I'm [choose one]: completely exhausted/totally stressed/pining for my carefree college days/wishing someone would kidnap my kids (and husband) for a few days just so I can have the whole house to myself just once.

I mean come on - I knew it was going to be tough. But I didn't know it was going to be this tough.

Before I had kids I used to complain about having to get up out of my comfy bed to shower and get myself presentable for work. I'd grab a bagel to eat in the car and blast Toby Keith during the 15 minute drive. I'd complain about how hard my day was when in reality I spent a lot of time on the internet and making myself look busy. Then I'd come home and have a glass (or two!) of wine and sit for hours in front of the television never missing a minute of my favorite show.

Fast forward to now...there are days that I don't get out of my pajamas, which means no shower, no shaved legs, no makeup, no change of underwear. It's not a pretty sight. Not to mention that when my husband gets home from work I'm not exactly spewing "let's get it on" vibes. Even if I were, I would be too tired anyway.

So now, as a mommy, I complain about having to get up out of my comfy bed, throw my hair into a pony tail and not care about being presentable for my day ahead (oh how I long for a daily shower!) I might get a second to grab a bite to eat while Tazmanian Devil eats his waffle and Peanut occupies himself in his bouncy seat. Trips in the car are far from relaxing and if I'm brave enough to venture out in my sweats with both kids it usually means that:

a) I've run out of toilet paper/diapers/wipes and need to make an emergency trip to Target

b) I'm heading to the doctor with a sick kid in tow, or to one of Peanut's many appointments or

c) I'm so sick of The Wiggles and the only way to drag Tazmanian Devil from in front of the TV is to strap the kids in their carseats and drive around aimlessly.

Even if we escape The Wiggles, I no longer get to listen to my music in the car. But at least I don't have to endure the sight of 4 grown men in primary colors jumping around ever so lightly in their loafers.

Once the kids are finally in bed my husband and I down a full bottle of wine and bicker about who's day was more tiresome (no matter what he says, I say I win hands down every time).

Anyway - back to being positive...

At the end of the day, I realize that I need to put my big girl panties on and get over it. I'm so lucky to have a wonderful husband, two beautiful baby boys, a roof over our heads and the opportunity to stay at home. I have my health, a strong support system of family and friends, and the gift of creativity to write about it all.

My goal for this site is not to spend my time complaining, I promise. But I do plan to share the good, the bad, and the ugly of motherhood. I'd venture to say that although some of my stories might be unique, they're probably quite similar to what other mothers are experiencing as well.

So bookmark this site if you want to come along for the ride!